Leveling Up Is Not a Zero Sum Game

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner! 💸

It is easy to get lost in the daydream of what you would do if you won the lottery. Whether sitting at a desk job I hated or doing long days with physical hours at a job I loved, I would envision reading my ticket with amazement as every single number matched. 

I would envision donning a hat and sunglasses to be incognito as I walked into the lottery office to collect a check for millions. I had already decided to take the lump sum. I had already decided to decline a news conference. I would imagine depositing the check at a bank, and knowing the feeling wouldn't sink in until I was able to see all of the zeros in my account. 

I ran through the immediate list of how people upgrade their lives when they get a financial windfall- stop working, new house, new wardrobe, new car, maybe blow a little on make up and hair. But then what? 

According to an article on CNBC, many lotto winners declare bankruptcy within three to five years of their win due to lack of discipline with the money, depression over handling the windfall with friends and family who feel they are entitled to some of the winnings, or the over indulgence of drugs or gambling. I imagine many of these winners coming from simple backgrounds, maybe lacking education in financial management. After all, if they are playing the lottery, they probably aren't wringing their hands about their carefully curated stock portfolio.

What happens, then, if you find yourself in a new economic echelon in less dramatic circumstances? 

When I first started dating my now-husband five years ago, he was financially recovering from his divorce, which didn't leave him with much extra at his rate of pay. I didn't know anything about him when an acquaintance introduced us at his house party. 

I'm not gonna lie, I assumed he was renting the house, because I spotted a few bottles of Two Buck Chuck (a.k.a. Charles Shaw wine, sold at Trader Joe's for decades at $1.99/bottle). I worked at TJ's for 10 years, yes, I judged him on his wine selection🍷😂!

We were married in October of 2020, and in the last five years I have refined his palate for food and wine, and he has improved our net wealth with discipline and austerity. Although we do spend money here and there on things that bring us personal joys (food and travel for me, a nice car for him), I would not say that we live lavishly. We have what we need, and we are both pretty much minimalists. We prefer to watch our money grow and spend scrupulously so that we are prepared for the future. 

My point is this: life can change on a dime, and I forewarn you with all of my heart and previous knowledge that the haters will come flocking to tear you down. There are people that DO NOT want to see you succeed. They don't want to see you get better, because it makes them feel worse that they are not doing better. 

2020 has brought to light for me personally that MOST of the people I had surrounded myself with were big on needing support and validation, but not great at giving it. I have cut out a lot of toxic people, and I look forward to the people I will meet in the future who align with my personality and goals. 

To that end, it is very hard to change economic tiers. When you are in the bottom, you go to the local pub and commiserate with the other people at the bottom, struggling in jobs they hate to pay bills that will never be payed off. There is a sense of unity in misery. 

I think there is a commonality among  some of the people who go broke after they win the lottery, and that is a lack of a sense of charity, generosity, and altruism. People are focused on their own fantasy of living "the good life," that the wealth can get squandered in the pursuit of personal, selfish wish fulfillment. 

My lottery day dreams always included a house and care for my physically disabled mom, and an apartment and art studio that isn't mere feet from one of the busiest, most congested (and smog-producing) freeways in Los Angeles for my artist sister (side note, you should definitely check out her 'gram, as she is one of the smartest, kindest, most talented people I have the honor of knowing). 

I planned to donate to causes like Planned Parenthood, as well as invest in companies that were trying to save the planet by reducing waste like Loop Industries. Since I advocate for "Putting Your Money Where Your Mouth Is," I bought eight shares of Loop Industries, and I recently found out that they are partnering with my favorite beauty supply store, ULTA.

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I consider investing in companies you believe in one of the first basic steps of being able to make a difference in the world around you. 1) You are putting money in the stock market, which when done in a smart and disciplined manner can increase your wealth. 2) You are supporting companies you believe in, which can allow them to grow and exert pressure on other industries to follow suit and change industry norms. 3) You become more aware of the strength and power of companies, and how you as a consumer can help drive the economy and responsible business practices. 

The secondary form of using wealth to make a difference is philanthropic organizations. At the beginning of my search of how to apply my skills and knowledge to give back to my community, I felt a little bit like the shopping scene from Pretty Woman. 

I have emerged from the lower class to the upper-middle class, but this can be a hard border to cross because people already in philanthropic circles may doubt your ability to participate based on what they might see on your LinkedIn profile. They have no way of really getting to know you (or your financial situation) until you become a member. 

I have a big heart, a lot of skills, and robust personality, but according to my LinkedIn, I have worked in grocery for most of my adult life, and finally managed to acquire a Bachelor's in Spanish in 2019. Honestly, if I were in their positions, I would be skeptical of my ability to pay between $250-$1000 yearly for the privilege of being part of the club. 

So how do you break in to these social circles, philanthropic circles, and 1%er circles? According to my husband, you pay to play or you wait for someone to take a chance on you. 

It is worth it for me to put in the work to find the right fit for my personality and ideas when I decide how I want to give back to the community in a way that will make the biggest impact. I don't want to hide my past or be ashamed of the fact that I come from a lower class family, and I worked in the service industry for most of my life. I believe everyone should have to work in the service industry for 6 months, at minimum (yes, including trust fund babies and the 1%ers). I think that would go a long way in raising our collective empathy, but that is a whole other story for a whole other blog. 

After researching various organizations in my area through LinkedIn, I have decided that I will be joining Women Give San Diego, as it works specifically with the local women to create financial stability and independence. I identify with and agree with their statements on their about page: 

            "We stand unequivocally against racism, injustice, and inequality – structural roadblocks that have negated Black involvement as equally participating and contributing participants of our national community. We do stand with our Black community members. We stand with peaceful protesters everywhere."

When you level up and your ability to Sample Life broadens, make sure you keep true to your values, and stand by companies with with you align. Reach out to women who believe in helping others thrive. Yes, I will have to pay membership dues to enter the world of these talented, educated, empathetic women, and hopefully that will allow them to see me for the diamond in the rough that I am. It may take more than my talents to break into this world, but once I am there I know I can shine. 

I want to do this now, so that down the road I can take a chance on someone with a fire in their heart and a deep drive to help others. Success for one does not mean less success for another. I want to see you thrive. I want to mentor. I feel good when other good people win. 

 As Tim McGraw says, "When you get where you are going, don't forget to turn back around and help the next one in line. Always stay humble and kind."