How Do You Eat An Elephant?

 One Bite at a Time!

Do you know that feeling when it seems like you have a million things to do, but there are only so many hours in the day? You do a little here, a little there, but then you wind up sidetracked either by something that took way longer than expected, or (more likely) you got distracted by something on your phone, and went into a scroll-hole. 

As someone diagnosed with ADHD a long time ago, I can tell you this is part of my every day life. Sometimes I can pour over my computer writing for hours, but most of the time, I sort of flit from one thing to the next, becoming increasingly frustrated with myself that I can't get to everything on my list. 

Today, in my typical Life Sampler fashion, I am trying something new. Today I am doing everything in 30 minute increments. 

This is something I have never tried before, and you may be thinking that 30 minutes isn't enough to become productive at something. Who knows, in the future, I may wind up expanding it to 45 minutes or an hour. 

The point is that I identified a problem, which was my perceived inability to accomplish all my daily goals. I also know I can be my own worst enemy. For example, I HATE doing laundry. I despise it with a passion. I love fresh clothes, I don't really mind the sorting, but for some reason I completely lose it when it comes to getting things from the washer to the dryer, and for whatever reason folding and hanging clothes is the absolute BANE of my existence. There is nothing inherently bad about doing laundry, I just hate it with a passion that burns hotter than hellfire. 

   

The old adage that lends itself to the title of this blog is an analogy for accomplishing big tasks. Eating an elephant is no small task. How do you even start?! One bite at a time. The analogy always grossed me out, because I have a vivid imagination, but the lesson rings true: in order to accomplish goals, it is best to start with the first small step, and go from there. 

"Time is really the only capital that any human being has, and the only thing he can't afford to lose." -- Thomas Edison

WonderMom: How does she do it?!

You know that mom who seems to have endless energy, boundless dedication to her children and their education, an amazing love life, AND hold down a job? I have known a few of them, and I will tell you they are more ragged behind the scenes than they appear, but they still pull it off. If you came to this blog wondering how they do it, I can only say I wish I had the answers for you. This is not that blog. 😅

I don't have bio-children, I haven't seen my stepkids since August 2020 (due to the Pandemic), I don't have to work a full time job, and I feel like I am Still. Always. Freakin. Tired. 

My 30 minute system is a way for me to see where I am dragging my feet, where I need more time, and it is designed to give me a sense of accomplishment. After all, four hours is eight 30 minute segments, and I know I can get a lot done in eight sections. 

Why Bother? 

If I can get so much done in eight 30 minute segments, why not just put my head down and grind out some work for 4 hours? It ties back to my ADHD. I had to find ways to overcome my learning hindrances in order to do well in school and hold a steady job. One phrase that I loved to use when I worked at Trader Joe's was "work smarter, not harder." 

This is a trial method to see if working in half-hour increments makes my day easier. Though I may not be wrangling 3 kids under 5 years old or rushing off to a corporate job, there is still plenty that I do in my day, especially since I am loving the idea of expanding the Life Sampler to YouTube (more to come on that). 

The following are some items I wanted to work into my daily schedule to become routine habit:

AM:

• Write for Life Sampler Blog
• Plan YouTube content
• DuoLingo (Spanish, French, German, Arabic) 
• Empty dishwasher
• Breakfast
• Dance Workout
• Art- acrylic, alcohol ink, or epoxy
• Singing Practice

PM:

• Read
• Walk Atlas (dog)
• Yoga
• Edit videos
• "Show Her Off" dance practice with Hubby
• Chores
• vacuum
• laundry
• clean floors
• bathrooms
• grocery shopping
• dishes in dishwasher
• handwash other dishes
• wipe down kitchen counters
• grind coffee, and set machine for AM

It is super easy to get sucked into the things I enjoy doing (DuoLingo, singing, dancing, writing) and super easy to get distracted away from the things I am not as fond of (laundry, editing videos, dishes) by engaging in things like scrolling social media, reading the news, or just fully giving up and going on a Netflix binge. 

These are just daily goals I want to get in the habit of, but because I have no formal schedule, there are also so many other things that sneak their way in your day. Showering/dressing/getting ready for the day isn't on that list either, so that is more time spent elsewhere. 

If I need to break from the to-do list, I will still set a 30 minute timer, and that will be a rest/goof-off time set. Those are important to work into the schedule too! Sometimes you just need a nudge to get you back to the task at hand.  

My 30 minute breakup of my day will hopefully allow me to get most of those dailies done, and some should take less than the 30 mins, leaving me with extra time here and there. I have broken the rule a little bit this first day to take two 30 minute sections to write and edit blog. 

My alarm is about to go off, and I suppose I will give myself 5 minutes to transfer in between tasks. I guess I will see if I can roll "getting ready" and "breakfast" into the same half hour segment, but if I don't, THAT IS STILL TOTALLY OK!

I am learning, I am trying new things, and I have to remember to be patient with myself. I won't berate myself for not following my rules, but I will try to stick to them to give the experiment a fair shot. 

Everyone is different, and this style will probably drive some people absolutely out of their minds, but there may be a few of you out there with an "AHA!" moment after reading this, who now feel that with a little 30 minute timer, you can work smarter, not harder...

 and eat the whole dang elephant!

The Longest Night

Winter Solstice 2020

I Embraced My Authentic Self- And Got A Lot of Feedback

For Better or Worse, I Am Who I Am

In the television series "Lie To Me," the character Eli is known to say things to other characters that many would follow with, "whoops, did I actually say that out loud?" Eli, one character explains, is a proponent of "Radical Honesty," which is to say he says exactly what he means, regardless of the consequences. 

I follow two schools of thought when it comes to honesty, and many times they are at odds with each other. 

This first is Socrates' Triple Filters of Speech. This frame of thought implores the speaker to consider three aspects of what they have to say to someone before it is spoken: Is what you are about to say 1) true (factual, honest) 2) is it kind (will it ultimately do good) and 3) is it necessary (is it useful). 

While I try hard to run my speech or bits of information through the Three Filters, sometimes I tie myself in knots and wring my hands about the second filter. The second school of thought of Radical Honesty is not concerned with whether or not a truth is kind or if it does good. The truth is the truth, and it should be spoken, regardless of how a person may interpret that truth emotionally. 

I have the reputation among my friends and family of being that person who will always tell the truth, even if it is hard to hear. While I rejoice that my circle finds me trustworthy, it is a heavy burden to carry knowing that it is expected that you will probably eventually say hurtful things. 

From Brash to Banal, and Back

I try to hang on to my judgements and opinions as much as I can, but I am a talker and a sharer, and it can be very hard for me to stay quiet. When I do open up, I tend to speak bluntly- at work I was often checked for not sugar-coating my communications with my coworkers or supervisors. 

I would like to clarify that I never tried to be rude or hostile, but I am 6 feet tall, and I have been told that between my stature and my manner of speech, I can come across as intimidating. I have been getting this feedback since middle school, and I have tried to adjust and adapt. I have tried to sand down my edges, smile more, speak less, and many other forms of trying to make myself smaller in every sense of the word. 

I have tried to temper my reactions, which used to be quite volatile. I have tried, at the suggestion of people who wanted to see me succeed, to be more assertive and less aggressive. 

I value and prioritize self improvement, but many of these adjustments to my personality didn't take. I felt fake, and I knew I somehow wanted to be the same person to others that I was in my head. I didn't want to be Jekyll and Hyde, I just wanted to be myself.  

I tried to find a middle path where I could be honest and authentic while not driving people away. Like the late great Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg said, "Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you." I felt like I had good messages, but I was delivering them in a way that was unpalatable to most people. 

I found that a way to temper my harsh image was with unrelenting kindness. "I want to be nice," I once told my sister. "That is the most boring personality trait, and it barely means anything" she countered. "True," I conceded, "well more than nice, I just want to be perceived as kind." 

I started offering help more. I started being more free with compliments (though I never gave false compliments). I started being kinder to myself, which was a huge step I hadn't known I needed to take. 

My kindness had the desired effect of tempering the impact of my radical honesty. I still got feedback like, "You aren't wrong, but you are a little harsh." I had to be more aware of what my friends and family needed.

 My habit is to jump into giving opinions and solving problems, and I knew I had to start asking if someone wanted advice or simply wanted to be heard. I felt like I was becoming a better friend and a better person, but it was so hard to let go of the need to be heard myself. I spent so long seeking attention, that it was hard for me to focus 100% on what the other person was saying. I didn't want to be one of those people who only listen to just enough of what you are saying to be able to start forming what they want to say next. 

Honesty as an Attribute? It Depends Who You Ask 

Your Dollar Is Your Vote

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

I learned early on in my adulthood that when you buy something, you are supporting everything about it: from sourcing and manufacturing to packaging and delivery. Because of this, I have been hyper-aware of my spending habits since about 2004. 

At the time I came into adulthood, I was not very aware of foreign policy or trade policy, but I knew that buying clothing from China meant supporting underpaid workers in terrible conditions, so I checked the label of each item of clothing before I bought it. If there were options other than being made in China, I chose the alternative. Sometimes there was nothing I could do in that moment, and I would have to compromise my values to get a product I needed. For example, sometimes the only socks in a store were made in China. 

Unfortunately, the reason so may people support corrupt practices with their dollar is that the product is just so dang cheap! But that is because the workers were not being fairly compensated for their labor. I wanted to support as many American-made products as possible, but when you are living paycheck to paycheck, you simply can't afford to vote with your dollar. You just need to make that dollar stretch as far as possible until the next paycheck.

I understand the low prices are why many people choose to shop at Walmart. In 2006-2007, I was taking business classes online, and I had to write a paper on the business practices of Walmart, and how those practices often put small business in an unsurvivable position. A huge corporation bullied suppliers into manufacturing past their capabilities and providing those goods at unreasonably and unsustainably low prices. It also severely underpaid their workers by hiring groups of people that were so desperate for money that they accepted subpar wages. This is why Walmart was well know to have septuagenarians and octogenarians as their door greeters. 

Accidental Activism

Applying New Healthy Boundaries Can Sting

 The Great Reckoning of 2020 

Life Sampler in Action!

 An Impatiently Unenthused Youth

Unexpected Love

 Being Open to Possibilities 

Find Your Inspiration

 What Makes Life Worth Living?