The Only Constant is Change...

 ...And That is OK!

As my Blogger anniversary unceremoniously came and went, I am reminded of how much has changed since my first post laying out the core concepts of Life Sampling. At the time of writing that first post, I was preparing to visit my (now) in-laws in Texas with my hubby and stepkids for Thanksgiving. It was the first time I traveled out of state with them. I was looking forward to a quiet Christmas, since we were preparing to go on a long-awaited ancestral trip to Ireland with my sister in January. I was going to take the finishing course for the career I had planned. I knew I was getting engaged and married at some point in 2020 (we had been together 4 years, and we openly talked about it). 

Like so many other people, I thought that 2020 was going to be "my year." I got two months of my wish. The Ireland trip was a wonderful once-in-a-lifetime experience that, unbeknownst to us, came at the precisely right time, just 2 months before the US quarantine lock down.  We got engaged in February with the kids in tow for a lovely sailboat cruise around the San Diego harbor. And then came March, Friday the 13th, 2020, the "most Friday the Thirteenthiest of all the Friday the Thirteens," when schools closed for what was expected to be a short time. A lot of things started to unravel then. After three years of a relatively peaceful life, it was time to kick my Crisis Mode into high gear again. 

Expect the Unexpected

I used to have a hat that had this phrase stitched across the front. I didn't understand it at the time, as my evolving grasp of the English language told me this was nonsensical. I have remembered that hat my whole life, and as an adult I realize it was some marketing slogan, but the sentiment made a big impact on me. 

I have often compared my life to Murphy's Law- whatever can go wrong will go wrong. This form of thinking stunted my progress at leading a successful life, because I was always focused on the negative. It did, however, teach me the importance of having back up plans, as well as the ability to roll with the punches when the plans don't work out, no matter how much you planned. 

Without getting too deep into the personal details, the lovely détente we had with the children's mother the last three years came to an abrupt halt due to a poor dating choice involving our neighbor. The prospect of having her live next door was unacceptable for our mental health, and we decided it was in our and the children's best interest to sell the house and find a rental until we found another home to buy. It went relatively smoothly, considering the house sold the first weekend on the market and we were in the new rental by the end of March. 

My husband was working from home as he survived the first round of layoffs at his company. I knew it was important for him to focus on his job, so I took up the Herculean task of making sure the house was ready for sale, finding a realtor, boxing up the whole house, finding the rental home, filling out the applications, and hiring movers. 

Luckily for me, all of this was pretty much in my wheelhouse. The move helped distract me from my anxiety about the well-being of the children, and it gave me something physical to do as the fear of the spreading pandemic took over news cycles and social media. It helped distract me from the incompetence of the government to implement any form of nationwide precautions.  

Now we are 8 months into the pandemic, we are just at the start of what is sure to be a terrifyingly large and dangerous third wave of infections, and the POTUS is busy fighting his re-election loss instead of trying literally anything to help with the pandemic, aside from waiting for the vaccines to roll out.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

How do you rectify the two seemingly opposing ideas that change is inevitable but also that history repeats itself? 

Humans are very adaptable, as we have seen from the normalization and general acceptance that nearly a quarter of a million people have died from Covid in the United States. What I have learned (painfully slowly) is that on something of this scale, you cannot change the event, but you can change your responses. It sounds over-simplified, but when the world feels out of control, many experts recommend sorting what you can and what you cannot change. 

I cannot change the fact that many Americans still think the virus is a hoax or is not as bad as it is portrayed in the news. I cannot change the fact that these individuals value personal liberty over small sacrifices for the greater good (by small, I mean things like wearing a mask or social distancing). What I can do is stay home whenever possible, which I have done since March. What I can do is follow health guidelines when I have to go to the market. What I can do is anything in my power to keep me or my husband from getting sick so we do not contribute to the overwhelming influx of patients in the health care system. 

President-elect Biden has promised to bring back the influences of professionals and scientists. While the global situation may feel hopeless as we combat the climate crisis, the pandemic, institutionalized racism, and an incredibly divided electorate, more change is on the horizon. Hopefully it will be change for the better, because this division feels similar to the tensions I imagine were broadly felt during the antebellum period.  

Trump delivered on his promise to "shake things up." Love him or hate him, he accomplished at least that much. Unfortunately, the type of shaking he did created (or at least brought to the forefront) the huge chasm that divides the country into the haves and have-nots, the forward-thinkers and the traditionalists, the left, the right, the blue, the red... everything over the last 4 years has boiled down to simplest psychological terms: "Us versus Them." 

As much as I would love to see the divisions in this country healed, I cannot abide by racism, nationalism, or any other "ism" that relies on subjugating a portion of our citizens. The only constant is change, and I fervently hope with all that is dear to me that change can bring us away from blind hate and rage to a place of love and understanding, even if I cannot see how that bridge can be built from this point in time. 

I just have to keep on keepin' on, hope for the best, and focus on the things I can change while trying to avoid getting bogged down in what I cannot. 

I will keep Life Sampling. I will keep spreading love and positivity. I will keep hoping.